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“When we listen attentively there is neither agreement or disagreement; we are just in a state of attention”
J. Krishnamurti

Can you hear that sound?

There are sounds in your world right now. Notice the auditory vibrations around you without judgment, without choosing the bird and ignoring the car or any ‘this’ over any ‘that’.

In noticing these vibrations, can you sense, perhaps intuit, the silence from which they come and to which they return? (This takes a bit of time). When we become quiet enough, we begin to notice the space of silence, of stillness, out of which moments emerge and to which they return. This is relatively easy to learn, and extremely important. AND it is not enough! What happens in human interaction?

I want to learn to listen better. Even as I deepen my connection to the ground of silence, I notice how challenging it is to really listen to the people in my world, especially my most intimate relations. My opinions and needs seem to overwhelm my capacity to just take in the living experience of the other. The desire to be ‘right’ begins to dominate these and other conversations.

For example, when I hear people speaking aggressively from a different political persuasion it happens, my need to convince, to correct errors, to make it more like “I” see it. I tell myself that this reactivity is a commitment to truth yet deep down I sense the personal angst that arises when really setting aside my own views and just listening. At moments like these, remembering silence is critical.

Returning to this welcoming quality of stillness is always vivifying and restorative. In human interaction, this means giving listening a priority of place. It seems to me there are three directions to listening: 1) toward the other, 2) toward our pre-verbal, intuitive inner life and 3) toward a larger truth that is woven through the process of interacting. All three are always much more than the words that are being spoken.

True listening requires the courageous act of putting our point of view to the side, not too far away, more like next to ourselves. We don’t want to lose or undervalue our perspectives from the past yet we want to be free from them as new possibilities are forming.

There can be a conundrum here. Knowing the great value of silence, of “the place before opinions”, I sometimes undervalue the world of human interaction, which includes diverse opinions and points of view. Since all views are always only partial, I sense a temptation to linger in the more profound truth of silence. Not capable of saying “All”, a part of me says, “why say any”? As a very quiet friend of mine used to say, “if you can’t improve upon the silence don’t speak”!

Yet, I also sense that we grow each other through conversation. I am changed by your thoughtful, honest and heartfelt communications. Offering each other an expression of what is living in us can be a gift of great intimacy. We are constantly re-forming our “self” through interacting. Questioning ourselves and each other in the earnest seeking of truth has value for our individual and collective learning.

Growing the capacity to disagree, to hone our truth against a contrary view in supportive and creative ways is important. The old style of fighting for our views, of being clever to ‘win’ is not helpful. The newer strategy of seeing equal truth in all views does not evoke the highest clarity in human beings. Even as we grow our connection to silence, to that space before ideas/beliefs/desires, we can also develop our capacity for “listening-speaking”.

Listening-speaking places a high value on pausing, taking a breath, dropping down into our embodied sensations. We step out of our reactivity, out of our certainty. We allow the silence that sustains each moment to permeate the interaction, saturating it with fresh air and new possibilities. This is truly a creative act. Truth, beauty and goodness become more important than being right!

What kind of speaking arises from this deep listening? Often, the expression that comes from this inner place is something new, something that surprises the speaker. It is a fresh understanding that is born from that moment of interacting. Often these are moments of insight and new direction for both the speaker and companions.

Cultivating this kind of “listening-speaking” is both challenging and essential. The good news is that the space of silence, of stillness is never far away. It is an expression of our Being. It is closer than our skin. It always invites a sense of being at home in the Universe. From this ground, we can feel safe enough to put aside our opinions, our need to be right and really listen. Then we can also seek and often find a way to speak a newly forming truth.

This is my goal for the New Year. I will fall down many times, then I will stand up, return to silence, apologize, listen-speak and continue learning…………

HAPPY NEW YEAR
]]> http://www.russelldelman.com/articles/index.php?entry=entry111122-144049 When life touches me, I feel so grateful
When feeling grateful, life touches me
Being Touched/Feeling Grateful
Feeling Grateful/Being Touched
Receiving giving, giving receiving Interpenetrating
From all alone to all one…Implicit Gratitude

“She smiled. So much lives in a simple facial expression:
‘Nothing we can do about it’.
‘Strange to be in these little metal boxes’. ‘Wonder how long it will last?’.
‘No big deal really, we are safe, fed and whole’.

There we were, commuters stuck in a big, unmoving traffic jam. In the moment of receiving that smile something settled in my body, in my shoulders where some tension was building, in my belly where some ‘wishing to be some place else’ was growing. For the rest of that day and even now as I write this, that smile brings great gratitude into my heart and a smile to my face”.

Please try the following experiment.

Reflect on a recent moment in which you felt touched by life.
It need not be an extraordinary moment just a simple experience in which you felt something like, “Yes, this is good”.

Examples include seeing a beautiful flower, tasting something delicious, hot water in the shower, a smile from a stranger or finding an unexpected seat while waiting. Really anything will do in which there is a moment of being touched.

Take a moment, close your eyes for ten seconds and recall in sensory rich detail this moment. Where are you? What can you see? Are there sounds? Any smells? Let the moment live in your memory, let it flood through you.

Continue reading after this process (note-I strongly encourage you to pause and take 30 seconds for this process, it really works!).

Now, I wonder, is a sense of gratitude implicit in being touched by life? Does a quiet voice inside echo with something like “thank you”?

My experience is that every moment of being touched by life includes the scent of thankfulness. Importantly, this thanks is not added to the moment later. It is not like a child being taught to say “thank you”. Actually, the gratitude is living within and inside the moment of feeling touched. It is implicit.

Why is this so important? A remarkable reversability arises from this observation- gratitude can evoke touching moments. Gifts will come to you through the back door of gratitude. Back door? By this I mean that through consciously cultivating gratitude-actually looking for moments of thankfulness- you will be gifted with many more moments of deep connectedness. Reviewing ANY hour of my life, even painful ones, there are many, many simple gifts for which I can experience gratitude, when I give my attention to them.

In this season of Thanksgiving, harvest and gratitude for the great gifts we are given, may we allow our inner life to be flooded with the sweetness of feeling touched. Amidst our sorrows and struggles, we can take brief moments to offer our gratitude for the simple blessings that allow our life to unfold.

Happy Thanksgiving.



]]> http://www.russelldelman.com/articles/index.php?entry=entry110830-133519 Zazen- sitting meditation- is my home.

Though variously peaceful, uncomfortable, quiet, chatter-filled and delightful, it is always just what it is. Of course my whole life is always just what it is, yet in all other situations I can have the illusion of accomplishing something.

Every morning I come to my cushion, reminding myself in an embodied way that “just this” is enough. “Just this” means just being, just breathing, just sitting here, just living.

Without this ground, I am forever on a treadmill of accomplishment. My self-worth becomes intertwined with my ‘to do’ list. The day’s completions translate as “good” days or “bad” days. Meaningfulness becomes equated with doing.

My practice is called Shikantaza or ‘just sitting’. It is crucial that this is not practiced for something: not for enlightenment, not for mindfulness, clarity, stress reduction, health, or spiritual growth. There needs to be one place in our lives that is not about anything else. Just Being (and not even accomplishing ‘being’).

I also have the strong voice of the doer, the one who gets great satisfaction from work. I deeply value this part of me. Work includes all our deeds in the world, everything from our job to doing the dishes. The feeling of fulfillment from these deeds is essential to our lives.

Often when I suggest a sitting practice, people complain that they do not have enough time. They need to make every moment count. I say the busier you are, the more helpful it is to just sit. Other ways of ‘wasting time’: traversing the internet, watching TV, idle chatter, etc. while sometimes restorative are not the same as ‘just sitting’. The value of not doing anything can never be overstated or understated. It actually exists in its own timeless universe.

Let’s not fall into the dualistic trap of choosing between doing and being. Know that it is impossible to realize the naturalness of Being through doing. You can’t turn “Being” into an accomplishment. Everyday I have my goals, my ‘to do’ list, my accomplishments. And everyday I bathe in the fresh water of not-doing. I encourage you to join me in spending some of your day just sitting and accomplishing nothing.
]]> http://www.russelldelman.com/articles/index.php?entry=entry110610-162626 “You never listen to me”, she said.
“Your not the only one with feelings”, he said.
“I can’t take it any more”, she said.
“Your never satisfied”, he said.

On and on they went:
Like two televisions on different channels.
Is anybody listening?

Learning to LISTEN wholeheartedly is central to a blossoming life. By listening I am referring to: listening to others, to our own feelings, to our inner voices, to our bodily process and to the whole situation in which we are living at a given moment. There are many reasons why this can be challenging. Though the following ideas are relevant to all situations, in this article, I will explore the instance of listening to other people in moments of disagreement. I will also suggest a path of resolution.

Why is listening to another so challenging?

To truly listen is to step beyond oneself. As Zen master Dogen reminds us: “To Study the Self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things.”

“Self” in the sense means more than the individual, conditioned ‘self’; it points us toward the “I” that emerges in relationship. Rather than viewing the “I” as a solid entity that moves from relationship to relationship, it is helpful to picture a “Self” or even better a “Self-ing” that reforms from situation to situation. This “self-ing” includes the “historical self” and everything connected to the particular living situation. When we are dedicated to deep listening, our dominant intention is to place our self in the background and deeply receive the other, to feel how the world is from where they are living. This dedication requires a kind of surrender.

This means that our usual obsession with our own ideas and with maintaining our position is placed to the side. To TRULY listen means that we quiet our point of view and we place the other "above" ourselves. "Above" in this sense means that we want to really take in the reality of the other without adding our opinions. This is a profoundly generous act.

I am not implying that our own wanting is irrelevant, rather that we are cultivating the maturity to postpone our own needs and longings. This postponing can feel both daunting and terrifying. Something in us can feel like we will die if we don't respond immediately or even beat the other to the punch! We must make our point How can we bear this intense inner pressure?
Here our embodiment can really help (for where else do we feel the pressure and the sense of danger but in our bodily experience)? Pressure always implies not enough space. When pressure builds in a balloon, the air is consuming all of the space. When it bursts, the spatial limits are exceeded. We can feel like this in challenging moments. IF the balloon could suddenly double in size, it would not feel so pressurized and would not burst. How can we “double our size” in moments like this?

Three keys to inner space: grounding, breathing and spatial awareness.

First, grounding: directly sensing our contact with the surface under us has the effect of: 1) helping us to sense the support of a ‘larger body’ and 2) offering an escape valve for the pressure that is building in our body. To change analogies, if an electrical system does not have a ground wire it will burn out when the charge is too much. When intensity rises, we create a counter-force by bringing attention down into the ground. Sensing the earth allows us to directly experience the literal support that is always present in every moment.

Second, breathing: in moments of intensity, most of us have a habit of either holding the breath or hyperventilating. Both of these reactions create inner pressure. Holding the breath and over-breathing are unconscious attempts to have more oxygen. Ironically, the best way to insure harmonious oxygen flow is through encouraging a full exhale. Letting go of the breath is the key to recovering a natural breathing rhythm. PAUSING and sensing the breath is very helpful. This pause is fundamental to the shift we are seeking. Stepping back for a moment and sensing THIS breath will change your world. Awareness of breath will allow this shift to occur and inner space will naturally grow. Ideally, I recommend following three breaths from beginning to end, counting each exhale. Stay present to the end of each exhale.

Third, spatial awareness: The physical body is too small to contain all that we feel. How can we expand our boundaries beyond the skin? Again the key is awareness. Bringing conscious attention to the external world: hearing sounds, seeing colors and shapes, immediately grows the living space. For many, attending to sound for a few moments, with the eyes closed is particularly helpful. You might feel strange, in the middle of a very demanding moment, to intentionally see a color or listen to the background sounds, yet I suggest if you try it, the results might amaze you.

Attending to the ground, the breath and the outer world require a shift of consciousness. I encourage you to experiment. More than simply reducing pressure, these shifts allow you to listen deeply and to enjoy the present moment more fully. This listening, this stepping beyond the habitual, reactive self is the key to our fulfillment and deep connectedness to life. Simply remember: Ground, Sound and Breath.

Be gentle with yourself. These shifts of attention are quite challenging in the heat of the moment. Practice in ordinary, non-demanding moments to build a reservoir of capacity. After many years of growing my capacity, there are still moments that can overtake me. In these situations I know that something inside feels very threatened and needs my care, my good listening. If I can’t listen wholeheartedly to another, I know that I need to listen well to the place in me that is feeling pressured. This kind of “self-empathy” will pave the way for a more global caring.

It is important to let go of rules and idealism when in a challenging moment. Sometimes, when feeling overwhelmed, separating from the situation for a short period can break the magnetism. In moments like this, we can offer a truly magical communication: “I really want to hear you AND I am starting to feel overwhelmed. I am about to respond in a way that I don’t want to. Let me take 15 minutes to reconnect with myself so that I can really listen to you”. Alternatively, when a particular feeling has carried you away, it can be very healing simply to say: “I am sorry I could not listen better.”

A note: for people who do not allow themselves strong feelings and habitually defer others, it can be a positive, temporary step to allow your emotion to come forward powerfully. Allowing this can sometimes bring movement to a stuck situation. We want to be mindful of creating more suffering through our words and actions. The overall direction is to be able to be wholeheartedly listening to self and other as often as possible.

As I said at the beginning, the same quality of listening to others can be applied to our own inner voices and to the entire situation in which we are living. When there is a feeling or thought that is challenging, we usually get pulled into it. When pulled into, there is no space, no possibility for awareness. We are like the balloon bursting with overwhelming, sensations. The antidotes discussed in this article for working with other people are completely applicable to listening to your self.

“I am in a lot of pain”, she said.
“Tell me about it” he
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“Donald Trump is a money worshipping, egomaniac”, my friend William snorted, “what can you learn from him?”

Teachings are everywhere, always. Dharma, sometimes translated as “the Law” or “Buddha’s teaching” or simply “the way things are” is always functioning. Kind of like gravity, we are never separate from its invisible influence and we can always receive a teaching simply by opening our eyes and ears.

It seems Trump was an ardent student of “the deal” from a very young age. He learned the real estate industry from the ground up by toiling at all the jobs required in constructing a building. He developed a passion for excellence, for doing things right. Learning from his father, other business people and from his singularly intense dedication, he grew a vast empire that literally changed the landscape of New York City. In addition, he transformed real estate practices, business dealings, television “reality” shows and even the political world.

Putting aside any discussion of the virtues of capitalism or his positive or negative influence on the world, I want to dwell on one particular mental quality exemplified by this man. Here is a person who repeatedly and profoundly demonstrates the power of devotion to one’s vision.

Listening to Trump’s son describe how his father would arrive home from the office at 3:00 AM only to return to work at 6:00 AM, or to his business partners express amazement at his unequaled preparation, I was struck by his intense commitment to his mission. In many ways, small and large, this man reveals the power of intentionality and dedication.

A deep question began to arise for me: am I as devoted to my path in this life as “The Donald”? My inner image includes a sense of deep and wholehearted dedication to my path and yet……….

Often with my students I quote Suzuki Roshi’s emphatic statement that “the most important thing is to find the most important thing”. Said other ways, “are you living your True life”, “are you in alignment with your path”? Many of us are constantly putting out the fires of everyday life, at work and at home, so much so that the “urgent” can overwhelm the truly important. How vital it is that we regularly step back and freshly orient on the map of our life.

In stepping back and rededicating ourselves to our path, it is essential to ask what is the difference between obsession and devotion? This is terribly important to those of us on a spiritual path. To be oriented toward the “highest and deepest” requires more than one-pointedness. While we do need a strong focus, we also need an openness of attention, a widening of our boundaries, an all-inclusive caring. There is a difference between depth and width. One can dig a deep well by narrowing the breadth of concern. This often results in a hardening of the heart. Yet to dig many shallow wells rarely results in fresh water. We need depth to truly transform. For modern people, to focus exclusively in one direction often creates an imbalance, either an obsessiveness that closes the heart or a shallowness that restricts new levels of unfolding. To include both of these requires BALANCE, it is balancing the depth of the vertical axis with the width of the horizontal.

Unlike the seekers of the past, many modern spiritual warriors are attempting a unique integration: to grow our individual, autonomous, authentic selves while also cultivating a deep realization of the transcendent. We are learning to be both a unique self and beyond self at the same time. This includes how to be parents, lovers, caregivers, meditators, workers, friends etc., while also being completely free from these roles and identities. It includes being connected to our everyday experiences as feeling beings, full of preferences and opinions, while also recognizing transparency and impermanence. To become both wider and deeper seems to be an expression of our growing capacity for LOVE.

An athlete can be absolutely obsessed with winning and being the best at their sport while acting like a jerk in the rest of life. The same is true of artists, musicians, and business people, indeed all of us, when lost in our obsessions! Becoming a “True” human being requires more. Deepening without widening leaves us narrow, widening without deepening leaves us shallow.

There is much here for me to ponder:

- How is the balance of my various commitments in this life?
- Are my obsessions narrowing my sphere of caring?
- Am I so wide that my deepening is compromised?
- Am I devoting enough time to the truly important?

And returning to the original question, “am I as dedicated to my path as Donald Trump”? All I can say is “thank you for inspiring the questioning”.

]]> http://www.russelldelman.com/articles/index.php?entry=entry110201-133048 When Rabbi Mordechai’s son Rabbi Noah took over after his death, the disciples noticed that he did many little things differently. When asked about this Rabbi Noah said, I do things just as my father did, he did not imitate and I do not imitate.

From Moshe I received many blessings for which I am eternally grateful, two of the most important are: commitment to the process of awareness and valuing my unique ‘handwriting’.

Prior to meeting Moshe, I was devoted to a practice of Zen meditation. My initial insight “on the cushion” revolved around the central importance of being awake in the present moment. In addition, because Zen is above all an embodied practice, I saw how our embodiment could be a great ally in the process of awakening.

Early in my training, ATM’s became a laboratory for exploring embodied presence. Before, during and after the training, I was also investigating present moment awareness (is there any other kind?) in the realm of feelings/emotions through Gestalt Therapy, various awareness practices and other approaches to somatic-based psychology.

My professional identity from 1975 onward has been as a Feldenkrais teacher and trainer. In addition, for about 15 years, I also have conducted retreats and seminars, which integrate meditation and “guided inquiry” (an original system for investigating thinking, feeling and communication patterns) with the teachings of Moshe. About six years ago, while in a time of deep self reflection, I investigated the question, “if I had 5 years left to live what would I do?”. The clear and unmistakable answer was that I would devote myself to teaching the most direct and complete path to inner freedom that I could. This questioning led to the creation of “The Embodied Life” as a mentorship program in which I would guide people in the practices that have been of most importance to me.

For many years I have felt very grateful for the freedom and support that lives within the Feldenkrais community for growing our own styles of teaching. In spite of this, there are necessary limits to a collectively defined methodology. For example, it would not be appropriate to teach sitting meditation or to use practices focusing on thinking/feeling patterns that are not directly connected to FI or ATM. Because of this, I have decided not to start any new FPTP’s and am now offering Embodied Life Mentorship Programs. These programs are organized around six week-long, residential meetings- two per year for three years. Each week is an intensive and often exhilarating exploration of awareness and the art of living.

Three Practices: Meditation, Guided Inquiry, Movement Lessons of Moshe Feldenkrais

All of these practices include the same inner attitude of curiosity, warm-heartedness, objectivity and respectfulness applied in slightly different ways.

The meditation we practice is a direct, bare-bones approach to experiencing our mind/body ‘as-it-is’; this is the basis for being at home in ourselves. Beyond ideology, it directly addresses the questions: can I be at ease within my own self-created mental stories?; can I have a basic friendliness with my own mind? Rather than offering mantras, pictures or other forms of “distraction”, we practice becoming friendly with the present moment.

Guided Inquiry includes a variety of awareness experiments based in the Focusing method of Eugene Gendlin. I have been developing these experiments for more than 30 years. Learning to bring a warm, caring, curious yet objective presence to our feelings/emotions/situations is transformative. Becoming skillful with both inner and outer communication is part of this study.

As you know, the movement lessons of Moshe Feldenkrais are perhaps the most neurologically sophisticated ways of transforming our motor patterns and self-image. In this program we focus in-depth on 5 essential embodied qualities: grounding, centering, breathing, lengthening (lightness) and contacting the world (spatial awareness). The lessons are specifically chosen to invite a softening of the infrastructure of our learned self-limiting identity.

Transformation and Integration

The integration of these modalities is profound and unique. Working with mental/emotional habits, while simultaneously exploring the underlying physical patterns- all from the same perspective- potentiates each approach exponentially. Finally, the power of a committed, compassionate group of people often from various countries doing these practices over a period of time creates an unexpected support for inner transformation.

“I believe we are in a historically brief transition period that heralds the emergence of the truly human man.” (Moshe Feldenkrais, “Awareness Through Movement”, p.48)

“The Embodied Life” is directly oriented toward Moshe’s vision of the integrated human being in whom sensing, moving, feeling, and thinking function as a unified whole. Moshe predicted that this integration would be spontaneous when the movement patterns were no longer compulsive. When I shared with him my observation that while some people seem to generalize their learning from the movement lessons into other areas of their lives that many did not, he said, “it is the greatest disappointment of my life”.

We are living in a time a great transformation and evolution of consciousness. I encourage those attracted to the ideas presented here to consider coming to an Embodied Life retreat.

Wishing us all many blessings and much joy on the path of awakening.

“In those moments when awareness succeeds in being at one with feeling, senses, movement and thought, the carriage will speed along on the right road. Then man can make discoveries, invent, create, innovate and ‘know’. He grasps that his small world and the great world around are but one and that in this unity he is no longer alone.” Moshe Feldenkrais, “Awareness Through Movement”, p.54
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In this newsletter last month, I described his ideas about the connection between living one’s dreams and health. When talking about dreams, he did not emphasize grand schemes or radical adventures rather it was about our everyday life. He encouraged us to find non-habitual ways to vitalize our life through creative expression or through finding an activity in which we felt delight.

Another favorite definition Moshe would offer when asked about health was “the degree of shock a system could absorb and recover its integrity”. Let’s explore this further.

Integrity is a fascinating word. Look at the primary definitions:

in·teg·ri·ty (n)

1. the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards
2. the state of being complete or undivided
3. the state of being sound or undamaged

To re-integrate is to become whole again. This new wholeness might look very different from the wholeness that preceded it, yet, as sensed from the inside, it is undeniably authentic. Someone reintegrating after a brain injury might not do all their former activities, yet they might feel more ‘whole’ than ever before. Many times recovering clients have said to me, “I wouldn’t wish this injury on anybody and I would not trade the love and insight that has grown in my life for my former health.”

In a way we can call this human dignity- to be “insulted” or challenged by life and find one’s way back to integrity, to wholeness. Moshe always said the essence of his work was to restore people to their human dignity. Dignity is often defined as “the condition of being worthy of respect, esteem, or honor”.
One of the great gifts of being a Feldenkrais teacher has been the opportunity to work with many people finding their way back home to dignity, reintegrating themselves, amidst “insults” to their nervous systems and to their lives.

Ram Das, the popular spiritual teacher came for sessions after his debilitating stroke. As an eloquent speaker, losing his capacity for articulate speech was a great challenge. Relying on others for many of his basic functions required a new kind of humility, also inviting a new kind of dignity. His comment to me at the end of our second session still reverberates: “ what I appreciate most about you Russell is that you approach me as if I am whole just as I am. Other therapists and most of my friends, treat me like I am damaged”. His statement is not really about me but about the attitude of someone who learned from Moshe Feldenkrais.

As a meditation teacher I often ask students, “what needs to change for you to be whole in this moment?” This is synonymous with asking “what needs to change for you to be yourself right now?” When we are well connected to Self, the answer is always “nothing”. Yet, when we are disconnected from ourselves, when we are lost in our “false identities”, the inner sense is that a lot needs to change. It is important not to confuse this kind of self- connection with enjoyment, “liking” the moment or being happy. Rather, there is a basic sense of authenticity and acceptance- uprightness in the face of our challenges. Rather than whining or arguing with life, we acknowledge our reactions, our disappointments, etc. and find a way to turn ourselves wholeheartedly toward reality. This too is a definition of dignity.

To experience this “nothing needs to change”, to know in an authentic and direct way that we are whole is a great blessing. This sense of wholeness cannot be faked, our inner life, our “wisdom body” as I call it, won’t agree to self-deception. We can engage in wishful thinking or positive affirmations and the ‘place in there’, down in our bellies, deep in our chests might disagree. Integrity, wholeness is governed by ‘that place in there’.

For Moshe, who witnessed pogroms by the Russian army as a youth in the Ukraine, lived in Paris when the Nazi’s invaded and inhabited Palestine/Israel most of his life, the concept “degree of shock a system can experience and recover” was based on devastating life experience. He extended this idea further through his experience of working with many people recovering from debilitating injury. With Moshe as a model, I learned to appreciate how human dignity, in the sense of moral uprightness was connected to recovering one’s wholeness.

This conflation of the definitions of integrity as both a moral quality and as an expression of wholeness seems very significant. When holocaust survivor and psychotherapist Viktor Frankel did his profound research into the qualities that allowed certain people to survive and even thrive having endured the horror of a concentration camp, this dual sense of integrity comes to the fore. How people could create meaning in these circumstances was usually predicated on connecting with something higher or larger than their immediate circumstance. Sometimes this was a relationship with God, at other times it was concern for their fellow prisoners or uncovering something beautiful to care about.

Similarly, Tibetan monks and nuns subjected to long term, horrific torture rarely experience PTSD unlike almost all other people. When asked about this, the Dalai Lama pointed toward practices that encourage the prisoner to include the torturer in their prayers. Recovery of wholeness seems connected to a moral framework, to enlarging the view of one’s situation from self- concern to a larger sense of interconnection.

While this concept of health as the capacity to recover from shock is helpful when we think of extreme situations, it also points us in a valuable direction when considering our everyday life. In many ways we are all “recovering from the insults of life”. Certainly some circumstances are much more challenging than others: chronic pain, the loss of loved one’s, the “worst of the worst” that we all dread. Yet, we all have situations that challenge our integrity, our wholeness everyday. Think of all the minor stresses that make up our lives- waiting on the phone, long lines, being late, waiting when others are late, traffic, so many minor irritants. How easy it can be to lose our sense of wholeness and dignity.

When we lose contact with our integrity, we can say, our health is compromised. Said another way, returning to integration, experiencing our fundamental unity in visceral, gut-level ways is a path toward our true health. One part of this recovery is expanding our concerns to include a larger web of interconnection. It is opening our hearts beyond the boundaries of our self-obsessed thoughts and letting fresh air into our situations.

What does it mean to recover our integrity in daily life? There are three main factors:

First, it is helpful to have practices that encourage us to maintain a sense of self-connection. To listen to “that place in there” which speaks from our inner life is critical. Authenticity, the sense that one feels real to ones self, is key.

Second, to have a sense of one’s wholeness, it is very helpful to be connected to all levels of human experiencing- physical, mental, emotional and relational. It is difficult to feel whole when lost in a sensation, feeling or thought. Moshe defined integration as a unity of sensation, movement, feeling and thinking. Functioning in one’s entirety as a whole being is the ground for integrity.

Third, expanding one’s sphere of concern beyond the self can enliven and refresh the moment in surprisingly powerful ways.

Moshe pointed toward the degree of shock any system could absorb and return to wholeness as a definition of health. We can now turn that around and say- our ability to return to authentic connection to Self, to integrity and dignity- is the path toward genuine health. This authentic connection to Self also includes our connection to Others- there is no true Self existing outside our relatedness to Other.

May we all find our way back home to this inner sense of integrity and dignity.
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On Health and Dreams

Feldenkrais always had unique ways of looking at life. Like a Zen master, he had the capacity to radically shake up one’s modes of perception. Take health for instance. While most people were looking at health through the lens of diet, blood pressure, exercise, cholesterol and other accepted measures, he saw through completely different eyes. After completion of the San Francisco training program in 1977, Feldenkrais offered an advanced training in the form of a practicum in which the practitioners gave lessons to a great variety of people under his watchful gaze. Among the people receiving lessons were dancers, athletes, yogi’s, along with people dealing with a great variety of physical challenges. After observing many interviews and individual sessions, Feldenkrais asked the group of teachers “who was the healthiest visitor we saw today?”.

Following various answers, he said: “ you are all wrong, it was that man with the big hunchback, the extreme scoliosis and the limp”. We were all shocked and confused. He continued, “did you see the light in his eyes when he told us about his life? Did you notice the love and care that he shared with his wife and children? Remember when he said he was the principal of a school and loved his job helping the students and teachers? This was his dream growing up. Also, how he devoted time to listening to the classical music that he loved and going to the San Francisco Symphony with his family? Here is a man living his dreams.”

From this and other comments by Moshe I learned, from his point of view, one of the greatest measures of a person’s health is whether they are still in touch with their dreams. Those dreams they had before the practical issues of life became dominant, their desire to paint, write poetry, travel, sing, to know the spiritual world or sail around the world. Often the dream includes sharing a unique aspect of ourselves with the world. Living in a way that includes your dreams does not require abandoning your responsibilities. It is listening to that quiet, often young, middle of the night voice that is asking for more in life, perhaps some creative expression that has been ignored.

When the demands of our social roles become so dominant that our soul-life withers, we feel false to ourselves. This “wrong” feeling is actually a good thing because it can motivate us to locate that gift that wants to be shared. Unless we are sharing our gift, we will feel a nagging sense of incompleteness. I have been blessed by a life in which “living my dreams” has been close at hand. I am forever grateful, really deeply grateful, to Moshe Feldenkrais for this perspective.

Wishing you a fulfilling day..........

Russell
]]> http://www.russelldelman.com/articles/index.php?entry=entry100820-124901 The Rose by Hafiz

How did the Rose
Ever Open its Heart
And Give to This World
All its Beauty?

It felt the Encouragement of Light
Against its Being-
Otherwise
We all remain
Too frightened……….

Thank you, Hafiz, for this “encouragement of light”……….
We know, in deep inner places just what that feels like.

The Light of Awareness

Turning the light around is that important inner move of shining warm-hearted attention on what’s alive in our inner life. Rather than looking outward, we allow awareness to orient in an inward direction. This light of awareness is the sun for our blossoming, encouragement for our soul. As this impulse deepens, our caring toward other people and situations around us naturally emerges. Let’s look together at what this might mean.

Often meditation students ask me “what do I do with all these negative, even hostile, thoughts that keep coming up?” The short answer I give is “love them”. After a confused and maybe startled look, I hear two genuine questions: “what do you mean and how can I do that”?

By ‘love them’, I do not mean to like them or approve of them or agree with them. Love simply means extending the non-judgmental, warm, clear light of awareness upon them. This awareness does not live in your head- if it is anywhere- it is in your heart.

Although awareness can arise spontaneously, there are a few steps that can encourage this light to shine.

Step 1- Radical Pause

Stepping back from our ordinary internal dialogue- the chatter and unexamined “stories” with all of their judgments/reactions/opinions- is the first step. This is the radical pause in which we connect to our present moment, bodily experience. While any sensation can be helpful, I suggest orienting around three dominant experiences (perhaps pause with each suggestion and take a few moments for experiencing right now).

Start with the ground sensations of weight, of substantiality and contact with your support surface. In standing this is your feet on the floor, in sitting perhaps your bottom on a chair, in lying a bed, etc. At every moment of your life you are in relation to this gravitational pull- the unconditional generous support of the earth. Being conscious of this support has the surprisingly powerful effect of “grounding” you. Grounding is the antidote for the top heavy, disconnected feelings that often arise when lost in our stories.

Add to this sense of grounded-ness, the sounds that surround you. Do not pick and choose, be like a tape recorder taking in all the sounds. The bird chirping and the refrigerator humming are equally welcome. Embodied experience is not just “in” the physical body but also, always, in a wider space in which you are living.

Finally, at every moment of living you are in some part of a breathing cycle. Either you are inhaling, exhaling or pausing. Tuning into this ever present, vital exchange is life giving.

Through the radical pause we connect intimately with the moment just as it is. Our physical body is a door way to “presencing”.

Step 2- Acknowledging

Now that you are present in the moment, attention can turn toward the “felt-sense” of how it feels to be alive. A felt-sense is usually more than just one feeling. It is the way the entire situation, including the thoughts, concerns, sensations, hopes, images, emotions are experienced all together. Our intention is to say “hello” to the inner state. If it is contracted, stuck or painful, the key is to acknowledge it without trying to fix or change it. Imagine bringing your warm heartedness to a state that is usually met with judgment and aggression. Also, acknowledge the part of you that wishes the stuck place would go away and wants to change it. You are the welcoming ‘space’ in which all the inner voices can be accepted.

Shining the light reveals what is living, what is true in our hearts, bodies and minds in a given moment. For example sitting here, writing, I notice a mild background discomfort in my belly. What is that……a kind of tightness, something unsettled, perhaps something about the seminar I am teaching. Pausing in the typing, I take a few moments to acknowledge the presence of this tight place, letting “it” know that I know its there- like giving a child or a pet a gentle moment of care. Just that acknowledgment creates a subtle releasing, a sense of “being on the same page” with my inner life. Amazingly, this happens without working on it or trying to change it- such is the power of acknowledging.

Step 3- Being With

Learning to ‘be with’ an inner state is remarkably empowering. I call this quality “presencing” and it is more healing than any direct problem solving that I know. Keeping company with the inner state as if it is a dear friend or a child in pain, can be very helpful. Even addressing it (“it” being that inner place that is carrying this painful feeling), affectionately with something like “dear one, tell me what so difficult” and listening to the response often creates a surprising inner movement. Resting a hand on the place that is carrying the hurt also can be healing. Always, always, you are listening to the response of the inner/feeling body.

As I am with the remnants of that tightness in my belly, images of the one student that I am concerned about come to mind. Asking my inner body if the tightness is connected to my concern that the seminar is too demanding for her I receive an inner “yes”- a bodily confirmation that the contraction is connected to this situation. Even without a solution, my body let’s go further, just knowing that I am listening. I can now spend some time inviting solutions to the situation- interestingly the majority of the relief comes before a solution is found!

Step 4- Inquiry

After encouraging the inner place with the warm light of awareness, you can enter the final step called inquiry. Here, grounded in our bodies, keeping non-judgmental contact with our inner life, we begin to gently ask: "what is the most important thought/belief that is living in me right now". My experience is that there is always an unexamined “untruth” that is at work, often unconsciously, under the surface. By untruth I mean unverifiable, exaggerated assertions like: “no one will ever love me or I am always so stupid or people think I am ugly”. Holding our attention in our present moment experiencing and turning our light toward the untruth will usually result in a deep bodily release. Note this does not mean analyzing the thought or trying to get rid of it. Rather, with the light of awareness we keep returning with non-judgmental curiosity to the dark place of the ‘untruth’. The unexamined untruth cannot survive for long in this light.

For my situation in this seminar, though most of the contraction is already free, a small part remains. As I maintain contact with embodied presence and the subtle tightness which has moved to my chest, I inquire into any thoughts that are living in the background. Sure enough I discover a small voice saying something like, “it is my job that everyone get value from and enjoy the seminar”. While I love people to get value and joy from my teaching clearly this is not my job. I am here to do the best I can at presenting this material. With that awareness my body gets totally light and free.

This “turning toward” has the feeling of acknowledging what is true in the moment without either fighting, ignoring or resigning oneself to it. Imagine an infant waking you up in the middle of the night with loud cries, a snotty face and a full, smelly diaper. While you prefer life to be different, your natural choice is to put your reactions in the background and take care of the baby. Can you imagine a similar response to your own thoughts and feelings?

The encouragement of light is the sun-like energy of awareness that allows our inherent wisdom to come forward. I am struck by the observation that every time a person reconnects with what is alive in their bodies, hearts and minds- even when the moment has many challenges- there is an opening, a letting go in the body. Feeling connected with Self always feels more spacious, lighter, looser and more true. This is really worth noting.

Connecting to the Truth that is deeper than our opinions and preferences, feels these ways because spaciousness, lightness and inner freedom are expressions of our True nature. The tight, pressured, dark places are departures from our deepest connection to Life and, when approached through ‘presencing’ they become invitations to return ‘home’.

The encouragement of Light- the remembering to meet the moment with the warm heart of a parent caring for a child- is a great gift for our continued unfolding. Even if it feels a bit silly, try saying to a hurting inner place “oh dear one I am with you” and placing a hand wherever you can sense its presence. Try it and see what happens.

Wising you well your journey……..Russell
]]> http://www.russelldelman.com/articles/index.php?entry=entry100402-151738 “Your physically felt body is, in fact, part of a gigantic system of here and other places, now and other times, you and other people, in fact the whole universe.
This sense of being bodily alive in a vast system is the body as it is felt from the inside.” ~Eugene Gendlin

I want to introduce a radical idea. The notion is disarmingly simple yet absolutely transformative in its implications:

Our physical body is the doorway to direct experiencing of the Divine, the All, Buddha, Sophia, Life, True Self, G-d, Love, Agape, Spirit whatever name you give the “highest and deepest”. We are directly connected to ALL THAT, to the unfolding of Life itself, through This Very Body! Learning to listen intimately to this interconnecting is our path.

In fact the physical body when suffused with awareness transforms into a New Body. Those of us on the path of Embodied spirituality or integrating the Mother (the immanent) and the Father (the transcendent) are actually participating in an evolutionary change in which the aware human being through this body can interact with and be permeable to all of life.

The Greeks spoke of “Sarx”- the body of matter, physical flesh. They also had the word “Soma” the body as felt and experienced from the inside- our sensing, feeling, intuiting, and thinking body. Soma allows a direct connecting to all of creation. Awareness and permeability are the keys.

Further, the ‘old body’ that we all carry within us is always centered on survival and is designed to be fearful and self-protective. At a certain level of consciousness and in certain situations this is essential. The new body includes the old survival capacity, we don’t want to throw that out, and adds to it a new operating principle that of Love or interconnection. The essential move is from separation based “survival of the fittest” to connection based “survival of the most interconnected”. In an ironic twist of evolution, our survival as a species on this planet actually requires us to move from fear as the dominant principle to love. This is a new body indeed!

IS it possible that the body as a physical object, as matter, as earth, is just the beginning of an unfolding that is happening Right Now, in our living experience? As we come to Easter where Christians embrace the transformation called “resurrection”, perhaps we can include the possibility that we are all cultivating this new body of life and love!

“..........and his body was radiant, like a prayer or a blessing, emanating love, truth and peace.”

More next time.............Russell Delman
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