Friday, January 2, 2009, 09:36 AM
Within the demands of life, including the struggles and disappointments, so much changes when we can recall the attitude: “CAN DO, WHY NOT, NO PROBLEM”. What a joy to approach life situations with this energy!
As a Zen student, I was intuitively taken with the paradoxical teaching: “because it is impossible, we do it”. Usually we like to be optimistic and say: “I can do that, I am strong, smart, willful, capable etc.” If you are lucky, this kind of bountiful optimism will be tempered, though not destroyed, by life’s inherent disappointments. Does this sound negative? Please, take a fresh look and consider how important your “failures” have been for your heart opening and awakening consciousness.
What is the connection between “can do” and “it is impossible”? (“It” means: realizing our ideals, causing no harm, meeting all situations with peace and love, being in Truth with Self and Life).
As we enter the New Year, with its unknown joys and challenges, I rest in the knowledge that I will make many, many mistakes. My perfectionism will once again be punctured by the unfolding of life. Learning to be True will be humbling and, if I resist this learning, perhaps even humiliating. This is how “it is” and I am grateful for this truth.
Our ideals serve us by giving direction for our actions yet they can be infinitely destructive when used as justification for violence and judgment toward self or others. I encourage you to be fully conscious of this distinction. So we need our ideals for our striving and it is impossible to fully actualize these images.
We can never circumvent the facts that: 1) matter, including our bodies, always disintegrates and 2) today we are one day closer to our death than yesterday. This is the good news! Without the certainty of our end, we might waste much time in learning how to open our hearts. To accept the truth of our limitations and still continue on the path is called dedication. Rather than dwelling in despondency perhaps we can find: “can do, why not, no problem”.
Each day I am surprised by the persistence of old habits, patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that clearly create suffering. While the general trajectory of my life is toward a reduction in these behaviors, the journey is anything but linear. Sometimes, like a groundhog lifting its head out of the winter ground, an old “something” will appear. My practice is to relate to these ‘appearances’ with greater and greater equanimity and kindness. After all, Life is impossible, therefore we live it.
My encouragement to us all is to laugh more at foibles and mistakes. I promise that your body, as well as your ambitions, will eventually humble you. And yet because it is impossible, we do it. Let’s endeavor to approach this life with the imperturbable attitude: “CAN DO, WHY NOT, NO PROBLEM”.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008, 01:56 PM
“The light shines in the darkness and the darkness overcometh it not”
Five o’clock in the morning, here in Zurich, through sobs of joy my daughter tells me that Barack Obama is now president to the United States.
All day yesterday many Swiss and German students were wondering if it was true, would Americans elect this beacon of hope to its highest position? “A black man with a Muslim name” they would say with a look of complete disbelief. For a long time, as an American spending about three months of the year in Europe, I have sensed, observed and heard about the fear and anger that the actions of this country have stimulated throughout the world. As the saying goes: beware of the 400 pound gorilla in a rowboat!
Now, I find it hard to specify my feelings- some kind of hopefulness, a tingling gladness, as if goodness has been affirmed. Also, there is caution, trepidation at idealization, at dividing the world into good/bad, black/white, positive/negative. There is also something like pride filling my chest after years of standing in the shadow of Bush/Cheney (no matter your political preferences or post-nationalistic tendencies, travelers are identified through the lens of their country), a rightness that says: “see we are not the imperialistic, violent, naïve, isolationist people that you saw, we have at least a few other sides”.
My intention was to write the last in a series of articles on the “fear virus” that has been spreading around the planet, exacerbated by the current economic “correction”. The first two articles explored practical ways of working with our sensing, feeling and thinking including a recognition of our effects on each other (see below). At this moment, a radical sense of interconnection- accurately and beautifully termed “InterBeing” by Zen monk Thich Nhat Hahn- fills me with a sense of hopefulness for our planet. At least part of the antidote to this virus might be this sense of hope, the possibility that we can work together on our common destiny.
Recognizing both our individual responsibility for the life we share as well as our inability to function in separation is an essential direction for all of us. We are the only one’s who can choose directly the words and actions we wish to offer with each other: we are blessed with the possibility of an autonomous “I”. No one else can transform the sensations, feelings and thoughts that have become habitual in each of us. Yet, we cannot do it alone. Just as we share the air and water of this planet, we share the mind-field. InterBeing places great value on the unique gifts of each individual- your particular gift can only be brought by you- as well as the truth that we are already interconnected before we are individuals. You are not you without gravity, air, your mother, your particular circumstances and we are not we without you. A true spiritual path for this time must fervently affirm the unique value of each individual along with our fundamental inseparability.
Also, without minimizing the euphoria, let’s remember that our practices are essential- there are many, many individual and collective challenges awaiting us. The “fear virus” is still virulent. We don’t wait for difficult times to engage in our sincere study. Our practice is dedicated to all people, for all time.
As I listen to my heart, the main impulse I hear is a prayer that we can take up the opportunities and challenges that face us right now. May Barack Obama be given the wisdom and compassion to lead well in the direction of true peace. In recognizing that we each cannot do it alone and we are each needed in service to Life, perhaps we can sense that there is something larger working with us and through us. Whatever term you resonate with- “Higher Beings”, “God”, “Universal Intelligence”, “All”, “Life”, “Other Power” or simply the recognition of “InterBeing” – my hope is that you will join me in this prayer for peace.
Saturday, October 25, 2008, 04:41 PM
Last week we explored precise, practical antidotes to the ‘fear virus’ (the next article/ see below) and examined how we positively contribute to the “interconnected mind” when we work with our own fears. This week we will explore how to work with the thoughts/images that grow and spread this virus.
Regula Schmidt from Munich, Germany writes:
“ Your writings are so helpful, Russell, I appreciate them very much. I am a psychotherapist in Germany and though I only attended one course with you two years ago the things I learned help me everyday. My problem is this, I am having a very hard time right now. Normally, I don’t feel so overwhelmed by my feelings and I can help my clients. Now I feel trapped. My emotions have taken control of my body, I am anxious and tense most of the time and I feel powerless. Please give me some help!
Regula, I can hear just how overwhelming your emotions, especially “angst”, seem right now and how unusual this sense of being trapped feels to you. Feeling powerless also seems very strong for you. Before I reflect on your request, I want to start by acknowledging that the unusual intensity that you are experiencing seems to be true for many people right now. It is not just a metaphor to say that we share “One Mind”- this field of consciousness- and that when people around us have strong feeling it becomes like a magnet that can pull on us. I say this to speak to the place inside that is surprised and perhaps confused by the intensity.
As you are reading I encourage you to include the sensations of sitting - your bottom on the seat, your feet on the floor. Sometimes a ‘sigh’ can allow some letting go in your body. Inviting the physical sensations into consciousness helps to ground the raging thoughts and feelings. Next, acknowledge the various feelings that are also alive in you. When the feelings are very strong, acknowledge them in a strong way as in- “the really, really tight band across my chest that feels connected to this anxious feeling, I know you are there”(please review the last article for more details on this practice).
Now, let’s explore our thought process and how it can function as an ally or enemy. All of our feelings are a combination of raw emotion and thinking.
The emotions are biological responses to life situations that our species has learned in the course of evolution. When functioning harmoniously, these bodily responses serve to get our attention and produce actions that allow us to deal effectively with the world. When helpful, these responses tend to be short-lived. For example, when you hear a strange sound while walking in the dark, the heightened muscular tone and acute attention ready you for action. The thoughts/images that arise can be helpful as you plan, strategize and gain perspective on the situation. If there was something dangerous in the dark, for instance, you could quickly decide what course of action to take. Often, however, the thoughts/images take on a life of their own which perpetuates the initial response “fight/flight/freeze reaction. In our example, it is not helpful if you keep imagining potential danger even after you have determined that the sound was harmless.
In our everyday life, we are usually not dealing with situations that demand such an immediate response, leaving the mind with a lot more time for generating thoughts and images about possible negative outcomes. “What if” is a familiar refrain during these challenging times. Sometimes these are called “the stories we tell ourselves”. How startling to discover that we often accept these thoughts/images as if they are true without really investigating them. Part of the power of our ‘old stories’ is that they become unquestionably true. This happens in our families, society, science, religion and, not surprisingly, in our own minds.
“What IF he/she leaves me, then I will: (be unhappy forever, never love again, die.…..), “What IF I lose my house/job then I am: (a failure, homeless, doomed to be unhappy…..), What IF she/he doesn’t return my call then I am: (worthless, unimportant to her, not good enough…...). The list of course is endless and the images that go with each thought can be totally compelling. Do we ever stop and ask the simple question: “do I absolutely know that this thought is true?” So simple, so powerful: Pause, breathe, sense the feeling, examine the thought and ask, “ Do I have clear evidence that this thought/image is the only possible interpretation of the situation”.
How empowering it is to discover that our thoughts are not true or untrue rather they are possible ways of ‘holding’ a situation. I find it much more helpful to think of thoughts as help/unhelpful rather than true/untrue. You can powerfully alter your experience by recognizing that the thought/image you are generating is ONE of MANY possible true “stories”. The facts are direct, simple and in a surprising way “always helpful”. As psychologist Carl Rogers said: “the facts are always friendly”. Note that “friendly” does not mean desirable, rather it means that life can unfold positively when we relate to the facts without getting hooked by our embellishing stories. For example, I have written before about Feldenkrais clients who after an accident or stroke find truly satisfying ways of being in their life situation, sometimes even more so than in their former life. The fact- “I had a car accident and can’t walk is distinct from the thought “ I will waste away in this chair and never be happy again”. The facts and the story are not at all the same!
So, once again, PAUSE and return to the simple, direct bodily sensations that are alive right now, include the sounds and sense of space around you. Acknowledge the feelings that are present, sense them in a bodily way and say: “yes, I know you are there”. Now, bring attention to the repetitive thoughts/images that are moving through your mind. As you notice one, ask a question something like: “do I know for sure that this thought is true?” Repeat the question and listen to yourself. Notice the change in your body as you acknowledge that you don’t know for sure that this thought is true.
Experiment with creating an alternative thought that seems equally or more true. Don’t believe this thought either; just get the clear experience that there are many possible “true” thoughts. Keep creating alternative ‘stories’ that seem just as possible as the original. Cultivate the mind that says: “maybe yes, maybe no, I don’t know”.
Who/what is this “I” that is asking the question? Bring your attention to the “One” who can stand back from the immediate experience. Who or what is it that can be completely free, even if just for a moment, from the situation? What is your bodily feel when you take this “backward step?” Learning to move your consciousness in this way is essential for awakening (more on this next week).
One last suggestion: the other day I sensed some inner pain/upset/stuckness about something in my life along with thoughts/images that were sustaining the experience. Remembering Gene Gendlin’s idea of letting your body go to “the way it will feel tomorrow or the next day when this is all resolved”, I felt an immediate and substantial relief. My body knew how to recall/recreate/enter that other way of being. One could also say: “go to the place where your body knows how you will feel when this situation is all resolved”. Let yourself have that feeling for a while. Give some time for your body to be with that “all ok” feeling. Such a life-giving reservoir is right there within you! We can learn to tap into this capacity by practicing it. Sometimes it is most helpful to step out of the thinking in this way and just let the body use this ability.
Let’s all do our best: everyone’s efforts help everyone else’s efforts! Next week, in the last of this series, we will further explore our interconnectedness as well as other sources of support that are available when dealing with challenging situations.
Saturday, October 18, 2008, 08:49 AM
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED: print out this article for your review.
Mark was my first student today. Although the old, stabbing pain in his neck had returned with intensity over the last weeks, this was not his main concern. He was pacing around the room consumed by dreadful thoughts/images: “What if my company starts laying people off”? “What if I lose my house”? “I have already lost almost half my retirement fund, what if the market keeps collapsing? “What if………”?
He was followed by a succession of students, all consumed by fears. Each person had a very real, believable, authentic, life situation that seemed to justify the feeling. Repetitious thoughts/words/images would be accompanied by unpleasant, sometimes painful, bodily sensations: constricted backs, restricted breathing, grinding teeth, panic sensations throughout the chest, etc. My heart felt moved by each story and, of course, my own fears/concerns would come to the fore as I communed with each person. What is an “awakened/authentic/skillful” response to these conditions? What can we learn? What is our task here?
Fear pervades the airwaves these days. To be informed through the various media is to receive a dizzying cascade of horrific messages: “collapsed”, “ the worst since…”, “how will you survive”, “life savings lost”, etc. Those of us lucky enough to have “savings” or “investments” might feel deep loss, even impending doom. In addition, especially for people in the United States, the importance of the current election adds to this air of fear. For those of us ‘on the path of awakening’, these are exactly the conditions for which we have been preparing ourselves.
To be hopeful about the future, to display a sense of confidence in the unfolding of Life during this time is viewed either as a desperate act of denial or an elitist, “spiritual” point of view. Are there alternatives to the contagious anxiety permeating our collective Mind and a Pollyanna, “everything will be fine” point of view?
Based in Zen, “The Embodied Life” starts from the realistic perspective that “What is, IS”. This simplistic statement is truly profound when we deepen into its meaning/implications. Essentially it means that beyond our own preferences, desires, hopes, dreams we “bow” to our life as-it-is. “Bow” means a kind of radical acceptance in which we do not deny our reactions, feelings or preferences AND we navigate from the ground that this moment, just as it is, is workable. We don’t need to like ‘what is’ to work with it. We clearly differentiate this kind of acceptance from any sense of resignation or passivity.
How can we approach our lives when we feel overwhelmed by dread or fear? We need very practical and effective skills for recovering our Presence and capacity for living harmoniously.
The prescription is simple and absolutely effective when you take about one to five minutes, five times each day with it. Please do not let the simplicity stop you from actually doing this experiment:
1) PAUSING and SENSING- Stepping off the train of the thought
First, it is NOT helpful to try to talk oneself out of a feeling- nor to deny or judge what is occurring in your experience. Start with saying a brief “yes” to what is true. Second, it is helpful to invite a larger, physical container for the feeling.
a) Sense your body, take a deep breath and as you exhale let go of any superficial tensions. With your eyes closed, if comfortable, sense your connection with the ground. If sitting, sense the contact of your bottom with the seat, your feet with the floor, your back with the chair. If standing- get a clear, fresh feeling for your feet and legs. The GROUND sensations are a great ally in growing your container.
b) Sense THREE BREATHS from beginning to end. Especially pay attention to the end of your exhale. Let these three breaths become your whole world for those seconds.
3) Connect with the physical world around you. Still with eyes closed hear the sounds that are alive in your world without judging them or picking some over others. Sense the space that surrounds you, when you open your eyes notice the colors and shapes.
2) ACKNOWLEDGING
Now that the container of your physical body is more present, acknowledge and spend a few moments sensing into what is alive in your ‘feeling body’ (the places you tend to feel things, especially the belly and chest). One can say to the tight belly or pressured chest, “Yes, I know your there, I am with you”. This “I” that can sense “it” is an essential step in the process of living skillfully with difficult mind states (more on this next week).
As you do this, briefly recall in the background, the ground/breathing/hearing sensations from step 1. Invite any of the mental stories to come, sensing the bodily feel of each story. For example, say something like, “oh, yes, I sense this intense pressure in my shoulders connected to that thought about money, I know you are there”. Take a moment with the sensations, as well as the thoughts/images that are generating them, as if you are viewing them from a little distance. Feel the release that comes with simply acknowledging what is true in this way.
3) GRATITUDE
These basic capacities: to focus/shift your attention, to breathe without effort, to be supported by the earth, to see and hear, to be in touch with your inner life are all acknowledged with gratitude. You are alive- Being is alive-you notice how the next breath comes, how the next moment comes without any effort. Colors are alive, sounds are alive, and perhaps in a subtle way, you can appreciate all of this. Also, notice if you want to thank this remarkable, rare ability to be aware in this way.
Notice how you feel NOW.
Our minds are interconnected. Just as we share the same air, so do we share the same mind field- the field of consciousness. One of the great contributions you can make to the earth, to humanity and to Life is to ‘tend your garden.’ With kindness and warmth, use these skills to stop spreading this “fear virus”. Anytime you allow a fear-based moment to liberate itself, you are really helping. Also, any actions that you need to take on a practical, worldly level will be radically enhanced by the peace that comes from remembering.
The world needs your practice right now. Our deepest intention is to offer a positive contribution in challenging times. Do Your Best!
{The hardest part, for most people, is remembering to take the few minutes a day to shift consciousness in this way. I encourage you to write reminder notes and put them in various places, maybe just the word “pause” is enough! Also, after the first few times that you practice feel free to do any one of the three steps all by itself, this is often enough to make a real and significant shift.}
This is the first of three articles on this theme over the next weeks. Please share with your friends.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008, 11:09 AM
Do you know that feeling of being lost in mental chatter, going from one thought to another while revisiting unsatisfying, often negative, old stories? Sometimes conversations or situations will repeat and repeat- perhaps a way for what is alternately called the “substitute” self, “virtual” self or “false” self to reaffirm its shaky existence.
Most people can identify with the sense that their “mind has a mind of its own”. Many people feel relief when they realize that they are not alone in being so lost in their unconscious inner dialogue. There is an unspoken, collective embarrassment about this human habit. Some inner wisdom knows that this attachment to an “image of a ‘me’”’ is central to our dissatisfaction and angst. Dealing skillfully with this habit is central to our authenticity and connection to Being.
Riding the train of thought
Entranced within the cultural mind
A brakeless train hurtling down the mountain road
Momentum!
One thought into the next
How to return to………….
……..the living moment?
Our true livingness
Is connected to That ancient longing
Craving the One Taste of living
How do we stop this habit?
It begins with the Pause………
At root we are ‘one with life’, this is our nature and can never be otherwise. Just as your heart beats, cells metabolize, ears hear, tongue tastes the salt and the sour without any effort so does Life live itself through us from moment to moment. Please take a moment to experience this thought- “life is living itself through me right now”. Sitting here, writing this, noticing the contact and pressure as bottom meets cushion, birds chirping in the distance, breath going in and out, fingers moving, the seeking of words, a feeling of hopefulness with the intention to communicate, all of this is Life living itself at this moment. When awareness is functioning there is harmony- harmony between body and mind, between self and world, between what is often called the inner life and the outer life. When awareness is functioning “inner life” and “outer life” become “Life”, “one Life” or “one with Life”.
When lost in thought without awareness we lose this intimacy with life, this sense of at-one-ment. This separation is heartbreaking and is the essential cause of our anxiety, depression and suffering. When lost in the momentum of unconscious thought we identify with the ‘false self’- that image created by thought that we protect at all cost. How can we return to the Truth that is always right there before/within/surrounding our unconscious thinking/feeling patterns? We start with the radical act of pausing.
Pausing means to shift your attention to the living moment. Beginning with the physical sensations of weight, pressure and grounding then moving into contact with breathing, sounds and color is often the most tangible way of breaking the spell of the ‘substitute self’. From there we can use awareness to notice the thoughts, sensations and feelings that are alive in the moment. This kind of attention is central to the experience of embodied living.
Next we want to invite a relationship to these “selves” that is welcoming. Without energizing these “selves”, through judgment, fighting, identification or denial, we uncover a way of being present with the whole thing- a unique integration named by Eugene Gendlin ‘the felt sense’. When we hear terms like “false self”, “substitute self” or “mental chatter” it is tempting to approach these experiences with strong judgments. It is helpful to remember that as everything arises from Oneness and returns to Oneness there really are no enemies. Rather, there are skillful (freedom enhancing) and unskillful (pain enhancing) ways of being with the events that arise in the moment. Our work is to bring a gentle, kind attention to these phenomena.
All of “The Embodied Life” practices are dedicated to cultivating this kind of attention:
*Through mediation we cultivate the dual capacities of Awareness: being with “what is” while simultaneously witnessing the moment;
*Through conscious movement we cultivate the capacity for sensing our self as a totality;
*Through our inquiry/focusing practice we learn to be with feelings/situations in a bodily way.
Collectively these practices invite more and more moments of spontaneous awareness that we sometimes call Presence.
Some of us in America remember when cigarettes were advertised on television. There was a famous slogan for Salem cigarettes- “the pause that refreshes”. These menthol butts with their green packaging were always connected to the fresh, Cool of snow- a new day full of promise, of life, freshness and possibility.
How ironic that these advertisers were in touch with the deep craving for authentic living that is just under the skin of our cultural mind. And how accurate the intuition that satisfying that need begins with PAUSING? Some of us who stopped smoking can remember how difficult it was to give up that nicotine induced moment of reflective pausing- this was probably the hardest experience to replicate without cigarettes. People giving up alcohol and other addictions often speak of the same thing- the longing for that initial moment of freedom that comes in the form of the pause.
Returning to presence begins with the radical act of pausing. It is radical both personally and socially: personally because it means going through the temporary discomfort that arises as one returns to the living moment and socially because one is stepping out of the cultural trance. Is there a greater gift we can give to each other or to ourselves?
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