Friday, August 20, 2010, 12:49 PM
The Rose by Hafiz
How did the Rose
Ever Open its Heart
And Give to This World
All its Beauty?
It felt the Encouragement of Light
Against its Being-
Otherwise
We all remain
Too frightened……….
Thank you, Hafiz, for this “encouragement of light”……….
We know, in deep inner places just what that feels like.
The Light of Awareness
Turning the light around is that important inner move of shining warm-hearted attention on what’s alive in our inner life. Rather than looking outward, we allow awareness to orient in an inward direction. This light of awareness is the sun for our blossoming, encouragement for our soul. As this impulse deepens, our caring toward other people and situations around us naturally emerges. Let’s look together at what this might mean.
Often meditation students ask me “what do I do with all these negative, even hostile, thoughts that keep coming up?” The short answer I give is “love them”. After a confused and maybe startled look, I hear two genuine questions: “what do you mean and how can I do that”?
By ‘love them’, I do not mean to like them or approve of them or agree with them. Love simply means extending the non-judgmental, warm, clear light of awareness upon them. This awareness does not live in your head- if it is anywhere- it is in your heart.
Although awareness can arise spontaneously, there are a few steps that can encourage this light to shine.
Step 1- Radical Pause
Stepping back from our ordinary internal dialogue- the chatter and unexamined “stories” with all of their judgments/reactions/opinions- is the first step. This is the radical pause in which we connect to our present moment, bodily experience. While any sensation can be helpful, I suggest orienting around three dominant experiences (perhaps pause with each suggestion and take a few moments for experiencing right now).
Start with the ground sensations of weight, of substantiality and contact with your support surface. In standing this is your feet on the floor, in sitting perhaps your bottom on a chair, in lying a bed, etc. At every moment of your life you are in relation to this gravitational pull- the unconditional generous support of the earth. Being conscious of this support has the surprisingly powerful effect of “grounding” you. Grounding is the antidote for the top heavy, disconnected feelings that often arise when lost in our stories.
Add to this sense of grounded-ness, the sounds that surround you. Do not pick and choose, be like a tape recorder taking in all the sounds. The bird chirping and the refrigerator humming are equally welcome. Embodied experience is not just “in” the physical body but also, always, in a wider space in which you are living.
Finally, at every moment of living you are in some part of a breathing cycle. Either you are inhaling, exhaling or pausing. Tuning into this ever present, vital exchange is life giving.
Through the radical pause we connect intimately with the moment just as it is. Our physical body is a door way to “presencing”.
Step 2- Acknowledging
Now that you are present in the moment, attention can turn toward the “felt-sense” of how it feels to be alive. A felt-sense is usually more than just one feeling. It is the way the entire situation, including the thoughts, concerns, sensations, hopes, images, emotions are experienced all together. Our intention is to say “hello” to the inner state. If it is contracted, stuck or painful, the key is to acknowledge it without trying to fix or change it. Imagine bringing your warm heartedness to a state that is usually met with judgment and aggression. Also, acknowledge the part of you that wishes the stuck place would go away and wants to change it. You are the welcoming ‘space’ in which all the inner voices can be accepted.
Shining the light reveals what is living, what is true in our hearts, bodies and minds in a given moment. For example sitting here, writing, I notice a mild background discomfort in my belly. What is that……a kind of tightness, something unsettled, perhaps something about the seminar I am teaching. Pausing in the typing, I take a few moments to acknowledge the presence of this tight place, letting “it” know that I know its there- like giving a child or a pet a gentle moment of care. Just that acknowledgment creates a subtle releasing, a sense of “being on the same page” with my inner life. Amazingly, this happens without working on it or trying to change it- such is the power of acknowledging.
Step 3- Being With
Learning to ‘be with’ an inner state is remarkably empowering. I call this quality “presencing” and it is more healing than any direct problem solving that I know. Keeping company with the inner state as if it is a dear friend or a child in pain, can be very helpful. Even addressing it (“it” being that inner place that is carrying this painful feeling), affectionately with something like “dear one, tell me what so difficult” and listening to the response often creates a surprising inner movement. Resting a hand on the place that is carrying the hurt also can be healing. Always, always, you are listening to the response of the inner/feeling body.
As I am with the remnants of that tightness in my belly, images of the one student that I am concerned about come to mind. Asking my inner body if the tightness is connected to my concern that the seminar is too demanding for her I receive an inner “yes”- a bodily confirmation that the contraction is connected to this situation. Even without a solution, my body let’s go further, just knowing that I am listening. I can now spend some time inviting solutions to the situation- interestingly the majority of the relief comes before a solution is found!
Step 4- Inquiry
After encouraging the inner place with the warm light of awareness, you can enter the final step called inquiry. Here, grounded in our bodies, keeping non-judgmental contact with our inner life, we begin to gently ask: "what is the most important thought/belief that is living in me right now". My experience is that there is always an unexamined “untruth” that is at work, often unconsciously, under the surface. By untruth I mean unverifiable, exaggerated assertions like: “no one will ever love me or I am always so stupid or people think I am ugly”. Holding our attention in our present moment experiencing and turning our light toward the untruth will usually result in a deep bodily release. Note this does not mean analyzing the thought or trying to get rid of it. Rather, with the light of awareness we keep returning with non-judgmental curiosity to the dark place of the ‘untruth’. The unexamined untruth cannot survive for long in this light.
For my situation in this seminar, though most of the contraction is already free, a small part remains. As I maintain contact with embodied presence and the subtle tightness which has moved to my chest, I inquire into any thoughts that are living in the background. Sure enough I discover a small voice saying something like, “it is my job that everyone get value from and enjoy the seminar”. While I love people to get value and joy from my teaching clearly this is not my job. I am here to do the best I can at presenting this material. With that awareness my body gets totally light and free.
This “turning toward” has the feeling of acknowledging what is true in the moment without either fighting, ignoring or resigning oneself to it. Imagine an infant waking you up in the middle of the night with loud cries, a snotty face and a full, smelly diaper. While you prefer life to be different, your natural choice is to put your reactions in the background and take care of the baby. Can you imagine a similar response to your own thoughts and feelings?
The encouragement of light is the sun-like energy of awareness that allows our inherent wisdom to come forward. I am struck by the observation that every time a person reconnects with what is alive in their bodies, hearts and minds- even when the moment has many challenges- there is an opening, a letting go in the body. Feeling connected with Self always feels more spacious, lighter, looser and more true. This is really worth noting.
Connecting to the Truth that is deeper than our opinions and preferences, feels these ways because spaciousness, lightness and inner freedom are expressions of our True nature. The tight, pressured, dark places are departures from our deepest connection to Life and, when approached through ‘presencing’ they become invitations to return ‘home’.
The encouragement of Light- the remembering to meet the moment with the warm heart of a parent caring for a child- is a great gift for our continued unfolding. Even if it feels a bit silly, try saying to a hurting inner place “oh dear one I am with you” and placing a hand wherever you can sense its presence. Try it and see what happens.
Wising you well your journey……..Russell
Friday, April 2, 2010, 01:17 PM
“Your physically felt body is, in fact, part of a gigantic system of here and other places, now and other times, you and other people, in fact the whole universe.
This sense of being bodily alive in a vast system is the body as it is felt from the inside.” ~Eugene Gendlin
I want to introduce a radical idea. The notion is disarmingly simple yet absolutely transformative in its implications:
Our physical body is the doorway to direct experiencing of the Divine, the All, Buddha, Sophia, Life, True Self, G-d, Love, Agape, Spirit whatever name you give the “highest and deepest”. We are directly connected to ALL THAT, to the unfolding of Life itself, through This Very Body! Learning to listen intimately to this interconnecting is our path.
In fact the physical body when suffused with awareness transforms into a New Body. Those of us on the path of Embodied spirituality or integrating the Mother (the immanent) and the Father (the transcendent) are actually participating in an evolutionary change in which the aware human being through this body can interact with and be permeable to all of life.
The Greeks spoke of “Sarx”- the body of matter, physical flesh. They also had the word “Soma” the body as felt and experienced from the inside- our sensing, feeling, intuiting, and thinking body. Soma allows a direct connecting to all of creation. Awareness and permeability are the keys.
Further, the ‘old body’ that we all carry within us is always centered on survival and is designed to be fearful and self-protective. At a certain level of consciousness and in certain situations this is essential. The new body includes the old survival capacity, we don’t want to throw that out, and adds to it a new operating principle that of Love or interconnection. The essential move is from separation based “survival of the fittest” to connection based “survival of the most interconnected”. In an ironic twist of evolution, our survival as a species on this planet actually requires us to move from fear as the dominant principle to love. This is a new body indeed!
IS it possible that the body as a physical object, as matter, as earth, is just the beginning of an unfolding that is happening Right Now, in our living experience? As we come to Easter where Christians embrace the transformation called “resurrection”, perhaps we can include the possibility that we are all cultivating this new body of life and love!
“..........and his body was radiant, like a prayer or a blessing, emanating love, truth and peace.”
More next time.............Russell Delman
Friday, February 26, 2010, 01:13 PM
I enjoy learning poems ‘by heart’ and sharing them; many of my students also practice memorizing a poem, prayer or other writing that resonates with their inner life. I call this soul food. This, of course is only one of the many types of “food” we eat everyday. Most of us observe that the content often moving through our minds seems not so nourishing, more like junk food!
There was a time when I was very concerned about the various thoughts and images that would arise, unbidden on the screen of my mind. Often they appeared like a bad movie with repetitive themes, intensified by the stream of strong judgments and self-recrimination that followed. Gradually, mainly through meditation practice, I learned that the content of the mind has no power in itself; it is my reaction, my chewing and swallowing that empowered these images.
Zen master Uchiyama Roshi says: “just as the stomach secretes acid to digest food, the brain churns out thoughts”. Nice image, it helps us see that the process is not so personal, the brain is just doing what it does. This churning out thoughts is a natural occurrence, sometimes helpful, sometimes not; the real question is what do we do with the thought once it has arisen. More than anything we put in our mouths, the thoughts we eat everyday have the greatest impact on our lives. Uchiyama also uses the exquisite image that these thoughts and images are the “scenery of our lives”.
When guiding meditation, I will sometimes use the following picture- you are in a boat carried by the current of a wide river. As a world traveler you are curious about the variety of life in this new country. The scenery is going by and you can enjoy the diversity. Sometimes there are beautiful mountains, other times unappealing waste sites, notice your reactions to the scenery and be aware of the stories that develop in your mind. As a visitor to this land, perhaps you can maintain a sense of interest, knowing that the river will keep flowing and new sites are coming. In meditation, we can learn to relate to all that arises with this kind of equanimity. Not taking our minds so personally is a big help; this is one of the great fruits of meditation. Most of the ‘tapes” that play in our minds were not chosen by us in a conscious way. Often we are repeating cultural and familial images. True, creative, original thinking is quite rare. As we all know, sometimes the habits of thought can be quite challenging.
The Baal Shem Tov, the great, wise, Hasidic master was asked by his students how they could know if a popular, charismatic rabbi was a truly great teacher.
He said, “ask him to advise you on what to do with the unholy thoughts that keep arising and keep you from your prayers and meditations. If this teacher gives you advice on how to stop these thoughts you can know he is unworthy. For it is the service of every human being to struggle every hour until his death with extraneous thoughts and time after time to uplift these thoughts and bring them into harmony with the nature of creation.”
From Anthony De Mello
I love this story though I might replace the word “struggle” with something like: “relate to ”, “embrace”, “learn from”, “liberate” or “meet with kindness” each of these thoughts. Of course, some thoughts are difficult for us to embrace and can feel like a big struggle- how important that we do not expect this process to be easy. Sometimes it is damn hard. YET, it is not beyond us! What is the most effective way “ to uplift these thoughts and bring them into harmony.” One clue is learning to sense our thinking in “a bodily way”.
Just this morning, I noticed a thought about writing this article. As I listened to my bodily felt-sense, I realized that there was both an excited, uplifting sensation connected to really wanting to communicate these ideas, along with a heavy, tight feeling of pressure in my chest, an inner demand to get it done so that the newsletter could be sent. Taking a few moments to sense the whole situation and allow each inner voice some time to speak was very freeing. First, I decided to walk my dog, get a cup of tea and then found myself sitting down to write.
Thoughts are not merely thoughts. If we listen, there are feelings and sensations, always connected to a whole situation. Every situation in our lives is carried in a bodily way that is changeable from moment to moment. Though often challenging, it is our possibility as awakening human beings, to question the thoughts that are not supportive of life. With curiosity and warmth we can uncover the need, concern or worry that is living within us and perhaps arising as the “negative” thought. When this is perceived and sensed bodily, it always releases, sometimes a little sometimes totally. We are not required to believe these habitual patterns of neurological “churning”.
In addition to allowing the whole bodily feeling of the thought, it is also wise to give the mind something more nourishing to do than repeating old stories. As I said, one practice is to learn meaningful, beautiful words by repeating them over time. If this attracts you perhaps carry a card in your pocket with these words and a few times a day, repeat one or more lines. Let the effect of the lines resonate throughout your body and mind.
Another fulfilling practice is to pause and think of a person that you wish to surround with warmth and kindness. I recommend connecting your exhale with an image of golden light surrounding them with good will, blessings and best wishes. Before you finish try sending these images/thoughts to yourself.
A third source of nourishing soul food is the practice of gratitude. Review the previous minutes/hours and notice ANY little thing that you feel grateful for, anything that has touched you: the temperature of the air, the sounds, the taste of a food, the look in someone’s eye, the floppy ears of a dog, the moonlight, a gesture of simple kindness and let this resonate in your body for a breath or two. Amazingly, even if you were not very present in the actual moment, something deep in you- we call it “Being” or “your Being” actually did take it in. If you pause and allow it to form in your belly/chest, you can have the richness of that moment now, even if you missed it before!
A path of awakening and freedom requires a new relationship to our habits of thought. Simply discounting them as “unreal” is not so skillful. Simply believing them is torturous. Feeling them, relating to them and letting them “self-liberate” through your kindness is excellent practice. Further, to take responsibility for your own diet, the thoughts you are choosing to eat seems essential. Bon appetit……………………
Thursday, December 31, 2009, 11:14 AM
Listen- Just to be is a blessing.
Just to live is holy.
Abraham Joshua Heschel
Enough already!
I am tired of all the doomsday talk about climate change, religious conflicts and end of the world predictions.
I am equally tired of all the people who want to put a happy, hopeful face on all the global challenges that we share.
As the New Year approaches, let’s do our best to stay free from the grayness of pessimism or bubbli-ness of optimism. Where can we live if we step off this continuum?
One of the liberating experiences of sitting meditation is when one finds that “just sitting” and breathing are inherently satisfying and one feels grateful “just” for being alive. This experience evokes the question: if I know that just sitting is enough, does anything need to change in this moment for it to be enough?
Enough
These few words are enough
If not these words this breath
If not this breath this sitting here
This opening to the life I have rejected
Again
And again
Until now
Until now
David Whyte
As one deepens into the experience of Being-ness, there is a remarkable discovery- the present moment is always enough! The word satisfaction has its etymological roots in enough-ness (satis-enough, facere- to make). How does a moment become satisfying? How do we make “an enough-ness”? The key here is orientating our attention into the simple facts of the present moment. One could call this giving oneself wholeheartedly to the present moment.
Imagine that Life is blessing you with a present right now- the sights/sounds/flavors/feelings of this moment. The correct response when receiving a gift is to be there for it- to be present for the present! A key to really receiving the gift is pausing and taking a break from your unconscious ‘self-talk’. This can be called ‘stepping off the train of thought’. When we are lost in the stream of unconscious, repetitious inner dialogue, really connecting to the present moment becomes problematic. With practice, this pausing becomes spontaneous, frequent and natural and one begins to live in a shower of blessings.
So as we enter the New Year, I wish you many, many “lived moments”. I hope that you can open to the wonderful moments, the ordinary moments and the challenging moments for each has hidden blessings. Beyond pessimism and optimism, there is the simple fact of living, Is it enough?
Happy New Year!
Monday, November 23, 2009, 02:41 PM
"If the only prayer you say in your life is 'thank you,' that would suffice." ~Meister Eckhart
Reflections on Gratitude for you to consider and to question:
*Humans seem to offer gratitude spontaneously when touched by life; I wonder if we can feel touched by life simply by offering gratitude?
*Is it true that every moment has qualities that invite our thanks when we pause and reflect?
*In “big” moments when something important works out well “thank you” emerges instinctively in our hearts and often on our lips. Notice if something similar arises in subtle ways during smaller moments- when the warmth from the sun graces your face or a door is held for you.
*Is it true that any moment of connectedness -to Self, to life- has gratitude implicitly built into it? I am suggesting that gratitude is not added after, rather that it is already there in the background when touched by living. IF this is so then might it be very valuable to consciously invite this background sense of gratitude forward?
*Like all virtues, gratitude is destroyed when imposed as a “should”, “must” or “have to”.
*Expressing gratitude, even when it is not consciously felt, can have positive effects. For example, when sad, hurt or upset, notice what happens if, in addition to honestly acknowledging that part of your experience, you say “AND I am grateful for……………”
*What happens when you choose to cultivate gratitude as an intentional practice? Try this experiment daily for two weeks. Before bed and at other times, review the previous hours and notice anything for which you feel thanks. Sense that thankfulness in a bodily, inner way not just as a thought.
*As Thanksgiving approaches, I wish you a fulfilling day/year/lifetime of Thanks………
i thank You God most for this amazing day:
for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is Yes....
~ ee cummings
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